One-to-one coaching supporting you to make changes and create a life that you love living.

 

In my role as coach, I provide guidance and encouragement for you to make real, lasting changes in your relationship with yourself, others, and life, and to learn and grow in ways that matter most to you.

I provide support for you to bring greater awareness to the patterns that play out in your experience, to listen deeply to yourself, to step out of your comfort zone, to see things and view yourself from different perspectives, to foster habits and ways of being that serve you, to move toward what you want and to be open to new possibilities.

I’m feeling more capable, confident and secure

Working with Nicola has given me a real sense of empowerment and strength within. It’s been easy to bring what I discovered and learned in the sessions into my day-to-day life, so I now have the means to connect with parts of myself that ground and support me. If a situation makes me feel anxious or upset, I’m able to put myself into a relaxed state more easily… the energy that was going into feeling anxious is now going into soothing myself, and it’s so instant, I don’t have to go through a long process to come back to feeling calmed. I’m feeling more capable, confident and secure, and more compassionate toward myself, because I have an understanding of why the different parts of me are the way they are and what they need. I felt completely comfortable and safe with Nicola in the sessions, because I knew that whatever arose would be accepted. I have no hesitation in recommending her

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Rachel Rehin, Stroud, England
Coaching Client

‘Life-changing’ is no exaggeration

Since having coaching sessions with Nicola, I catch myself almost on the daily thinking, “Wow, I couldn’t have done this a year ago”. Even my family and friends have noticed a change. The journey hasn’t always been easy but it’s been SO necessary. To list everything I’ve gained would turn into a short novel, so here’s the synopsis: I feel like I’ve come home. Nicola’s breadth and depth of knowledge, her uncompromising honesty, her compassion, humanity and her humour have made it all possible. What’s touched me most is her ability to hold space when I’ve felt really triggered, allowing me to work on deep-rooted issues I’ve been carrying around my whole life. It’s worth mentioning that I’d already been through a year of counselling, I wasn’t sure what coaching could unpick that a therapist hadn’t been able to address. Spoiler alert: everything. Everyone has their path but this was the best one for me. And I look forward to continuing this process together. From the bottom of my heart: thank you.

Fran Holder
Fran Holder, Brighton, UK
Coaching client

I feel I’ve untangled some huge inner knots

Nicola, thank you for the wonderfully supportive and transformative space you’ve provided me over the past several months. I have made a decided shift from crisis/overwhelmed mode into a more stable, grounded daily experience, and I know that our sessions played a significant role in that. I feel I’ve untangled some huge inner knots that were keeping me in painful conflict with myself, and that I now have new tools and inner champions to deal with spikes of emotional angst when they arise. I also am making progress in putting my future in motion and am no longer caught in the paralysis that I had when we started working together, which is a huge relief. I just genuinely appreciate the completely accepting space of our sessions and also the joy and happiness that you bring just in your demeanor. I remain so grateful that I came across you at this particular juncture in my life!

Kristen W
Coaching Client

I had spent years in therapy

I had spent years in therapy trying to access my inner child through therapy and other work, and in my first session with Nicola I was able to embody it fully, and finally access everything that I knew that was there but had struggled to find a way to work with

Anya, UK

Nicola is an extraordinary coach…I feel so blessed to be working with her

Nicola is an extraordinary coach. She balances goals for the session with processing what is coming up in the moment; she witnesses and allows for emotion while also offering insights and framings. She draws from a valuable therapeutic toolkit featuring methods including voice dialogue, and can wisely assess when to use different techniques. She is paving the way for me to dig into my subconscious, feel my emotions, transform myself, and create my future. I feel so blessed to be working with her

Julia Paley, Washington, DC, USA
Coaching Client

Working with Nicola has transformed the way I feel

Through our voice dialogue sessions, I realised that what I thought were external obstacles in my life weren’t “out there”, but within me. When I saw this, I could easily pass through them and understand why I felt so heavy, anxious and depressed. It felt very spiritual to observe the different parts of my psyche and self from a very loving place, and as the sessions went on, I became kinder to myself and felt more whole.

It was very liberating, because I thought I had to squash and hide parts of me that were just trying to get my attention and wanted to be heard. Now I understand that they are trying their best for me, even when it might not seem like it.

I feel more comfortable within myself and more confident in my relationships because the voices of self-doubt are no longer the loudest. I feel more self-acceptance and am saying “this is who I am, I’m not changing myself for this situation or for you” yet at the same time I’m more loving toward people who’d annoy me. It’s helped me in my relationship with my partner especially, as I’ve found it easier to communicate and be honest.

I feel less frightened and can keep going forward in life without being frozen by the fear of what might happen or how I might feel. I feel much clearer in my direction, and have been able to make a new start after feeling stuck.

I no longer feel lost in the conflicting voices within me. I feel whole, stronger in myself, more centred, more connected to my body, and am not repressing my feelings because I know it’s okay to feel them. I feel very hopeful and am grateful.

Nicola is non-judgemental and I found working with her easy, comforting and enjoyable, and I highly recommend her

Kerry Goodfellow
Bern, Switzerland

I feel very heard, held and understood by you

I really appreciate how gentle yet firm you are at the same time. I feel very heard, held and understood by you. Your reflections are pretty much always right on point and they have really helped me to unravel and understand parts of me that I have never quite grasped before, even with therapy.

Lauren Swift
Lauren Swift, Brighton, UK
Coaching Client

Immediate practical ways to approach the issues

Nicola, I want to thank you for the very practical ways you have assisted me to engage mindfully with some of my personal blockages and challenges…the work around boundaries was energetic, practical and playful… it gave me immediate practical ways to approach the issues of giving away too much, or allowing too much in, for my own well-being. Thank you, Nicola

Jim Lawson
Jim Lawson, Victoria, Australia
Coaching Client

Coaching with Nicola has been an amazing experience for me

Through her gentle yet powerful approach, she has helped me to become clear in feeling my authentic ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ and expressing them in my relationships with others… I have also been able to ask much more directly for what I need and want, especially in my work situation, which has greatly helped my general well-being…I have come away with not only a range of practical skills and tools to use in everyday life, but also a real feeling in my body of being clear in my boundaries. I am really grateful, it has really helped me a lot

Amy Behrens Clark
Amy Behrens Clark, Bristol, UK
Coaching Client

Working with Nicola has made me much more energetic and excited about my life!

There is a lot more fun, joy and laughter. I relate to myself in a more positive, fulfilling way…I am more compassionate, loving and gentle with myself, I am listening to myself, and I now give myself the opportunity to experience the pleasures of life. When my boundaries are clear I feel much more confident and experience the world in a more positive and fun way. Communicating with others is much easier and more relaxed as I feel more grounded in myself. As a result I am more open to different life experiences

Maya, Galway, Ireland
Coaching Client

I really became more aware of my personal boundaries and my real Self

I was very happy with my decision to take the boundaries coaching programme that Nicola offers. It was an incredibly useful experience, and a real pleasure to work with Nicola. I feel I really became more aware of my personal boundaries and my real Self, and became a stronger person and more connected to myself. Nicola was very good at listening carefully and noting and picking up what I was struggling with…Nicola really cared about my feelings and concerns

Kasia, London, UK
Coaching Client

The coaching she gave me really worked, and has been transformational

Nicola coached me in assertiveness, boundaries, and learning how to say “no”. I chose Nicola because I consider her a great role model for healthy assertiveness and good boundaries.

Normally, I’d feel some fear or resistance, but I loved her coaching sessions, which were fun and supportive, and I used to look forward to each session. Nicola really cares about her clients, and she puts a lot of effort and attention into the work she does.

She gave me techniques and exercises that were practical, and easy to learn and apply, and can be used anywhere and at any time. I was surprised how easy and yet effective her techniques were. I still use them today (two years later), and they have really helped me become more assertive and confident.

I’d done some assertiveness training before, but it wasn’t effective. I consider Nicola to be a real expert in this area, she has so much knowledge and experience, and she tailored the coaching to my needs.

The coaching she gave me really worked, and has been transformational.

I’ve also attended her workshops, which are brilliant and fun. I’d highly recommend Nicola, either as a personal coach or workshop facilitator. She offers quality and expert coaching, and you’ll get great results instantly.

Elinor Martell
Elinor Martell, Buckinghamshire, UK
Coaching Client

My ability to believe in myself has increased by 100%

Since I started working with Nicola my ability to believe in myself has increased by 100%. I used to think I had to get people to “accept” me. However, I now know that I was putting my desires and ambitions under the table instead of on it. I’m now getting more and more confident at asking for what I want, and I have almost completely stopped dancing around that tricky word “No.”

Boundaries were a huge thing, I had none! I thought that if I was going to get my value and experience out to the world, then I had to become everyone’s best friend. It was draining, and I was drowning in my own kindness and need to be heard.

I believe Nicola’s boundaries coaching program needs to be taught in schools to children from the age of 5 and for it to continue right through the education system.

Since working with Nicola, I am sleeping and eating better, worrying less about what people think, more sure about who I am, asking and expecting to be respected, asking for what I want (and often getting it!), letting go of the complainers, learning to communicate instead of avoiding, not arguing with my husband as much, investing in myself and getting results, feeling positive about where I’m going and seeing more beauty in the world.

Nicola has strengthened my emotional immune system. Negativity can be all around me, but it just doesn’t affect me the way it used to.

Valerie Farragher
Valerie Farragher, Co Mayo, Ireland
Coaching Client

My approach

I offer a free no-obligation phone or Zoom consultation for you to let me know what you'd like to receive from coaching and for us to discuss whether we might be a good match to work together.

In our first session, you may want to begin by focusing on one of the seven themes (please scroll down to see below), or to simply bring what feels most important for you to begin with.

I work with Voice Dialogue (parts work), inner child re-parenting, body awareness, mindfulness, polyvagal theory (regulation of the nervous system), attachment theory/styles, non-violent communication (NVC), guided meditation, menstrual cycle and menopause awareness and a wide range of experiential exercises and models that support greater self-awareness, deeper self-connection, learning and growth.

My coaching approach is both inner-process oriented and action-oriented. It is practical and includes homework or homeplay that will help you to practice what you learn and discover in our session(s) and integrate it into your everyday life. I offer guidance which supports your personal empowerment, acknowledging that ultimately YOU are the expert in your experience and that I, or anyone else, cannot know what is best for you.

I receive regular ongoing support and supervision with Ireland-based psychotherapist Alison McGeown and supervision for Voice Dialogue facilitation with East Sussex-based psychotherapist Jayne Deeks. Sessions can be held in person in Hove at Grey Door Therapy or Brighton and Hove Therapy Hub, or online. If you have any further questions on my approach, please do get in touch.

 About Nicola

About Nicola

Relationships coach and Trainer/facilitator

I support people to enjoy wellbeing, confidence and happiness, in kind, healthy relationships, in both personal and professional life.

I’m a relationships coach and trainer/facilitator of 20 years experience. I’m deeply commitment to living what I teach, and to bringing my ongoing learning and life experience to my work.

I’ve experienced many of the relationship challenges my clients face and have healed dysfunctional relationship patterns that I had, at times, believed would never change. This enables me to offer solid support and guidance from a place of deep understanding, for my clients to move toward experiencing the relationships they dream of.

Read more

As a child I had a keen, buzzing curiosity to understand myself, others and life, as well as I possibly could. So many things in the world and ways that people relate didn't make sense. I didn't understand why people were so unhappy, fought so much and why there were so many rules (both spoken and unspoken) people were expected to follow that meant we couldn't be our honest, authentic selves.

I questioned and challenged the idea that it was "just how life is", speaking up when something didn't seem fair or didn't make sense, and daring to explore and express who I felt I was, rather than accepting the ideas of who I was told I should be. I looked for ways to connect more deeply with myself and others, pondered the mystery of what this life is all about, and delighted in discovering and creating my own unique ways of being in the world.

Exploring my spiritual nature and what it meant for how I related in life was a huge part of my tween and teenage years. At the age of 15, I had an experience early one midsummer morning of complete belonging, deep peace, and indescribable joy and beauty. I knew myself as an integral part of everything that exists and felt the complete perfection of it all, no part excluded. For me, the question then became how to remember and integrate this recognition of my true nature into everyday life, with all of its struggles, suffering, confusions and paradoxes; a question that is as alive in me now as it was then. 

In my early twenties I took a masters degree in community development and began my professional career supporting the empowerment of local communities, soon realising that community empowerment was impossible without the individuals of those communities becoming personally empowered in their own lives and relationships.

Realising that life is all about relationships, I began offering an assertiveness course. I loved seeing how people's lives transformed when they learned how to listen to themselves and say No and Yes clearly and kindly. Many reported being newly empowered to speak up and handle difficult conversations at work, communicate better with their partner and set healthy boundaries with their children and other family members, feeling freer to be themselves, happier and more at peace.

The personal relationship challenges I've faced and worked with in my own life led me to seek out training that would equip me to navigate them with more skill, love and kindness, and to support others to do the same. This includes training with Jan Day, Voice Dialogue training with Transforming Dialogue and a Year of Polyvagal with Deb Dana.

The huge shifts I’ve experienced in difficult relationship patterns means my life is now much happier, healthier and more fulfilling than I ever thought possible. I've learned and discovered a great deal since my early thirties that I wished I'd been taught at school; I believe life would've been so much simpler, happier and more peaceful. I have a huge passion for sharing with others what I find most helpful, and a deep wish for us all to experience what we most long for in our relationships with ourselves, with others and with life.

I'm based in Hove, East Sussex.

Working with seven themes

 

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Authentic Relating & Kind Communication

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Befriending Your Whole Self

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Deepening Connection & Intimacy With Yourself & Others

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Everyday Spirituality

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Healthy Personal Boundaries, Saying No & Assertiveness

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Self-Love, 
Self-Compassion
& Self-Care

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Understanding Relationship Dynamics

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Healthy Personal Boundaries, Saying No & Assertiveness

Spirituality icon

Self-Love, 
Self-Compassion
& Self-Care

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Understanding Relationship Dynamics

My experience includes supporting clients with:

Authentic Relating & Kind Communication
  • Improving communication in all relationships, for more harmony and to reduce conflicts
  • Being your true self and being loved and accepted for who you really are
Befriending your whole self
  • Finding acceptance and compassion for yourself, and loving your whole self
  • Meeting loss and grief with self-compassion and self-soothing
  • Discovering yourself after a big life change such as a break-up or divorce, and creating a new life that you love living
Deepening Connection & Intimacy with Yourself & Others
  • Finding stability and untapped resources within yourself, to help you deal with times of change and uncertainty
  • Learning practical actions to meet a new romantic partner and nurture the connection in its early stages and beyond as the relationship grows and deepens
  • Finding forgiveness after a betrayal or conflict, and self-forgiveness
  • Moving from being confused and conflicted to clear and empowered when making difficult decisions
Everyday Spirituality
  • Reconnecting with your spirituality after a spiritual crisis of feeling lost, alone and disconnected
  • Staying connected with the essence of your own being more deeply in everyday life
  • Expressing the qualities of your spiritual nature such as unconditional love, kindness and forgiveness more fully in your relationship with yourself and others
Healthy Boundaries, Saying No & Assertiveness
  • Learning how to say No with greater confidence and ease and stop people-pleasing
  • Negotiating assertively in difficult situations for the best possible outcome
  • Building confidence to do what you really want to do in life, instead of simply what is expected of you
Self-love, Self-compassion & Self-care
  • Overcoming self-criticism that is holding you back
  • Becoming unstuck from an unhappy life situation or relationship and moving toward what you want
  • Addressing emotional eating and other addictive patterns
  • Increasing your personal empowerment to deal with challenging relationships and difficult life situations
Understanding Relationship Dynamics
  • Understanding and changing negative patterns that create disconnection and disharmony in your relationships
  • Knowing yourself and discovering your deepest wants and needs in your relationships
  • Difficulties with relationships at work

Frequently asked questions

Do you work with couples or individuals?

I work with both individuals and couples.

As a Relationships Coach, I support people to enjoy wellbeing, confidence and happiness in all the relationships that make up their life experience: their relationships with themselves (the primary relationship which determines the quality of all our other relationships and interactions) their relationships with romantic partner(s), family, friends, work colleagues, customers/clients, and with life itself.

 



How many coaching sessions will I need?

It depends on what you want to work with, and the kinds of changes you are looking for. A minimum of three sessions is usually recommended to work with a particular issue, however sometimes a single session is all that is needed if there’s something very specific you need support with. Many people find that support in ongoing sessions is most effective for deep, lasting change in their relationships and life. We can discuss what might work best for you to start with in our initial call.



Are there coaching programmes for working with a specific issue?

Yes. There are 6 and 12 week coaching programmes for working with specific issues, that are tailored to your personal support and learning needs, such as Dating and Relating for romantic relationship, Healthy Personal Boundaries, Saying No and Assertiveness, and Deepening Connection and Intimacy. Please get in touch if you have any questions about these programmes, or if you have a particular issue you’d like to work with as a tailored 6 or 12 week programme.

What is the cost?

An hour-long 1-1 session costs £70GBP.
An hour-long couple session costs £90GBP.

Coaching

Book a free consultation or make an enquiry

Please get in touch using the contact form and I will get back to you shortly.

Discover workshops

Workshops providing useful, practical information and tools that enable you to make significant changes in your everyday life and relationships.

Workshops
5 Steps to Saying No with Confidence and Ease

How I Became a Relationships Coach

Relationships Coach Nicola Williams talks with Somatic Therapist and Educator Gwen McHale about how she became a Relationships Coach.

Connect with me on social media